Date Mate

Now it is a difficult time in the today dating world. Boys and girls are picky, and many decide they want to live their lives alone rather than with someone who does not fit into their criteria. However, every night brings more meetings at coffee shops, nights at the movies, and romantic dinners, where two lonely people are trying to decide if they are compatible. First impressions are important. Follow these tips to avoid disaster on a first date

• Be Prepared -A woman loves a man with a plan. Guys, she'll know you're really interested if you take some time to plan the date and take her somewhere creative.

• Have No Expectations - Don't expect your date to act or be a certain way. This will only disappoint you. Try to appreciate them for who they are no matter if you see a second date in the future or not. There is something that you can learn from everyone you meet and from all of your experiences. If it does not work out, don't get frustrated. Just appreciate what you learned from the experience and keep looking. "When you decide to be with a person, don't try to change anything about them." .

• Look your Best - Your date will appreciate that you have taken some effort in getting ready for your date, even if it is just having a shower! Bad breath or strong body odor can win you a ticket straight to Dumpsville.

• It's not about What you say but How you say it -"60% of all human communication is non-verbal and 30% is your tone." . Be yourself and have confidence. Have a positive attitude towards the date, be open and communicative, smile, relax and have fun.

• Show Interest - If you are interested, a little bit of innocent flirting can be sexy. Even if it's just a way that you look at them, or possibly a touch on the shoulder, but make sure you are getting some positive vibes back from your date before taking this too far.

• Listen and Respond - Look your date in the eye and attentively listen to them. "That way when it's your turn to respond, you'll have something better to say than 'I like your mouth'"

• Tell the Truth - Always be honest about who you are and your past. "You don't need to pretend to be something else. When you pretend to be what you are not, you are always going to fail"

It’s a common perception that women dissect men on first dates. Some dating screw-ups that my women friends have written about men include:

“Do not look at her and say, ‘Why’d you get so dressed up?’”

“Do not say, ‘Wow, did you just wolf that chicken down?’”

“Do not mention that any other girl is hot, even if she is hot.”

But when you ask men what women do wrong on dates, you get mostly shrugs and silence. Therefore, it’s easy, as a woman, for you to think that the only thing you need to do on a date is to show up and look cute. And, yes, it definitely helps.

However, there’s a lot more to being a great date than simply being attractive.

What often gets lost by women – especially smart, successful, busy ones – is that your second date depends on how you make the guy FEEL on the first date.

See, men don’t value women for the same reasons women value men. They’re not as concerned with what you do professionally, where you live, how much you’ve traveled, how much real estate you own, or how many other plans you have that don’t involve him.

What they want to know is that you are fun, easygoing, and appreciative. In other words, they’re putting on a show, and they want to know that you’re enjoying it. Yet some of the most impressive women emasculate their first dates unintentionally – just by trying to run the date like they’d run a meeting at work.

I know an attractive 35-year-old lawyer. She’s sweet. Has a big heart. A couple of homes. And yet she couldn’t help overruling her date when he suggested they meet at the Olive Garden. He let her have her way, but then, on the date, she couldn’t help asking him what he was thinking when he suggested a chain restaurant. It’s not that she was wrong for feeling like he could have been more creative or generous; it’s that she made her date feel bad about himself.

And what guy wants to be with a woman who makes him feel bad about himself?

Understand – it’s not that he doesn’t care who you are or value your opinions. It’s that he cares far more about how you react to him and make him feel when you’re together.

So put away the Blackberry, look him in the eye, compliment his shirt, ask him questions, laugh at his jokes, gently touch his knee, and thank him for picking up the tab.

If he’s putting on a show, the least you can do is let him know he’s doing a good job.

Men try to impress too much rather than being impressed by the woman across from them.

One of the top complaints I hear from women about men on a first date is that men talk too much about themselves, they don't listen well and they don't make an effort to get to know the women they are out with. One woman adds, "...and trying to get to know my sexually doesn't count!"


Bottom line: If you truly want to impress a woman on a first date, be impressed by her.

Be curious

Ask your date questions that are both open-ended and specific. Rather than saying "Do you like living here?" which may lead to a conversation dead-end, try "I heard you grew up in the South. How's the lifestyle and culture there different from here?" An open-ended question is more likely to start a dialog and make your date feel like you are interested in learning more about her, which generally increases her interest level.

Just remember: A date isn't a job interview. There's no need to play 20 questions without contributing your own thoughts. After you ask a question and hear her response, join the conversation!

Listen actively

Make eye contact with your date and make sure you are genuinely listening to her, rather than anticipating the next thing you will say. I understand that in some cases, we ladies use a lot of words (on average, double the word count of you guys!) - but we really notice when a man stops listening to what we're saying or looks around the room while we are talking. In fact, many women I've interviewed have complained that men will ask them something they have already spoken about moments before. Turn off!

Be naturally confident

When men are trying too hard to impress - by sharing their resume and earning potential or by ordering food for a woman without asking her what she would like (another complaint from women I've polled) - women deduce that the man they are out with is insecure.

Stay upbeat on a first date and always show your funny side - those are two qualities that rank very high in attracting a woman.

Most of all, be yourself (unless yourself is naturally self-involved!). When you are relaxed, putting your attention on the other person and having fun, you will exude a quiet confidence. And - there's nothing sexier than that.

Mind games? PRETTY MUCH! This is so old skool talk. You decide for yourself if it has any validity. Let’s just say, they don’t call it the dating “game” for no reason…

The other had to do with how my grandmother felt about my grandfather courting her. She made it pretty clear to me that she wasn’t attracted to him. So her second piece of advice…
“Look for a good man. The love will follow.”

Tying in the first piece of advice to the second, I think the reason she was able to “run” and he “followed” is because she wasn’t initially interested anyway!

Well, she didn’t care what he looked like, or the fact that he had a dictator-like aura about him.


Basically she’s telling me, who the heck cares what he looks like! Who cares if being around him doesn’t make your palms sweaty and your heart race?

Yeah. Ummmm… That’s me, raising my hand in the back.

I care.I can’t help it.I like cute boys.

I blame it on the privileges our post-feminism world affords. More on that later. Possibly, actually, most definitely the media has had an influence.

(Mind you, my version of “cute boy” doesn’t mean he’s cute to everyone else. My best friends know my type. They can spot him from a distance. And believe me, my “type” surely doesn’t garner the same kind of admiration from their point of view. But I don’t care what they think about how he looks. Heck, I guess I don’t care about how he looks, as long as at some point he does make me nervous… makes my palms sweat… makes my heart race. By that time, by all standards, he’ll fit the “he’s cute” bill in my book.)

Back to post-feminism world privileges. Women can work and take care of themselves physically. So the old adage my grandma was probably used to, of finding a husband who has a good job and a good character, regardless of how you feel about him sexually, regardless of your lack of physical attraction… Well, the only thing that still holds up today as far as her advice is concerned is making sure you’re with a man of good character.

Why? Because women can bring home the bacon. (or for all you Adventists out there… the MorningStar Stripples) And because women aren’t ashamed to admit they actually have a sexual appetite and not just any good-hearted, hard working boy with a steady income can satisfy that hunger.

Sometimes I feel shallow because I only date men I’m sexually attracted to….

Then I remember that men display identical tastes to mine, preferences that tend toward the young and professionally pulchritudinous. Women my mother’s age have told me to find a man who would be a good father and provider, meaning: food, shelter, a steady income—stability. I smile and refrain from telling them that I can afford my own food and rent and that my friends and family give me support and love. About the only thing that I can’t give myself is that flush of excitement upon locking eyes (and lips) with a [guy I'm physically drawn to]. -Min Lieskovsky

Yes, I may have much to learn about love since I’m young and naive… but I don’t think I’ll ever settle for a guy who doesn’t in the least tempt me to have inappropriate thoughts. Those thoughts are pure in the context of marriage, but if before marriage, I’m not even tempted to think them…. it’s a BAD sign! If you’re a Christian, read 1 Cor 7: 4. It’s a command. When you get married, your body doesn’t just belong to you anymore. So, if you choose someone you’re sexually attracted to, at least it’ll be more of a pleasure than a “duty” to fulfill!

Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.


The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:

Top Dating Tips

1. Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.

2. Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.

3. Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.

4. Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

5. Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

6. Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.

8. Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

9. Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

10. Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.

These romantic date ideas aren't the same old, same old you've heard countless times over. We all know that rose petals and candlelit dinners are lovely. But what about when you want a romantic date idea that takes a bit more effort, inventiveness or creativity to pull off, or when you need something to really wow your date in the romance department?

If nothing else, these romantic date ideas should fuel your mind to create something memorable in the romance department. And if you have a romantic date idea you feel should be added to this list, scroll on down to the bottom of the page and add one.

Take a Dance Class Together

Whether you choose a private class or a larger event, a dance class is a romantic date idea as it is an excuse to be affectionate in public with your loved one for an extended period of time. And since there are ample dance classes in North America these days due to all of the dance shows on TV recently (So You Think You Can Dance? and Dancing With the Stars are two that come to mind immediately), you should be able to find one that suits both of your tastes and pocketbook easily.


Do Dinner Differently

You've gone to dinner with your loved one countless times. Why not change dinner into a romantic evening by focusing instead on luxurious meals, tastings or events that cater to the sensual in all of us? Wine and cheese tastings, chocolate making company tours, and even beer breweries fall into this category. Better yet, take a class together to make your own spirits and then make plans to have a romantic date together to uncork your masterpiece.
Go For a Walk

It may seem mundane, but when is the last time you and your sweetie went for a walk together, hand in hand? Surely there are many little scenic spots in your area to explore, together, and of the romantic date ideas in this list, its the cheapest of the bunch. Why not amp up the romance factor even further and pack your own wine and cheese tasting to go, or perhaps you'd rather go for your walk later on in the evening so the two of you can go stargazing instead?

Rent a Boat

For many people, there are few things as romantic as heading out on the water together. Take the scenic route out to the closest marina and rent a boat for the day. Let the rental company know you plan on making the event a romantic date, and they may even provide you with some ideas or props to get the date off on the right start (such as stringing up lights along the deck, providing a romantic dinner for two on board, or offering complimentary massage oils).

Get Your Hands on Each Other

Touch is a crucial aspect of every relationship, and any excuse to touch your partner should be a welcome one. However, depending on where the two of you stand will determine just how much you touch each other on this romantic date idea. New couples could have a reflexology night, where each partner dons a pair of socks with all of the important points already marked, massaging each others' stresses away for the evening. More established couples could take it up a notch and share a bath together, complete with champagne and bubbles (Buy Direct), romantic music and fluffy towels still warm from the dryer.

Have you been trying to get yourself into online dating sites? Try to remember some things to keep you protected at all times. It is not uncommon to see a lot of people who resort to online dating sites to find someone to love. There are in fact a lot of people who met their spouses through the internet. Though internet dating can be kept safe, there are also some dangers that come with it. People may not be really telling the truth about who they are, for example.

It is always easy to pretend that you are someone else online. In order to be sure about the things that your internet friend has been telling you, try to watch out for inconsistencies. Pay attention to the details of his stories. If he told you something about a certain detail of his life yesterday, and then it dramatically changes the next day, it could be possible that he was lying.

If you are not looking for casual sex on internet dating sites, try to avoid divulging details about your sex life until after you have met you internet friend personally. If you find someone who claims to be looking for a serious relationship but keeps on asking you for nude pics, then you must look for someone else.

Before trying to physically meet a potential date, keep personal information to yourself. Try not to give out your real home address or the name of the company you work with. You can tell them about the part of the city you are in, but try not to give the specific address. You may also try to keep your last name to yourself for your own safety until you are sure that you can trust them.

Although it is advised for you to be careful about giving personal information, you should try to get as much information about the other person. It is also possible that he will not give out a lot of details about himself but be sure that you have seen his or her pictures (with an s, to be sure it isn't just anyone's photo) and get the person's telephone number.

Do not try to meet other people you find on the net without telling anyone about where you are going. Leave his or her complete name, phone number and other details with a friend or with anyone you know.

When trying to meet your internet friend for the first time, choose a public place where you can feel at ease with each other. Don't try to meet up at your favorite shops or bars where you always go, just in case the date does not go very well. You don't want to risk having to run into him the next time you hang out with friends in these places. Try not to have your date pick you up from your home, either. Be there at the meeting place on your own and plan a safe way of getting home if he seems to be bad news.
When going out on a date, try to limit the number of beer you drink in order to keep your mind clear and sharp. Try to keep a close eye at your drink. Flirting is okay but avoid getting overboard if you want your date to take you seriously. Even if you find your date very irresistible, you should try to resist the urge to invite him to your place. Try to keep him intrigued until the next date.

Men need to connect with female emotions before trying to build actual relationships with women. Keep in mind that women who are particularly gorgeous already have tons of men running after them, so they will leave you if you don't get them immediately hooked onto you.

If you can't tell the huge difference between polite behavior and true attraction, here are some tips to help you figure out whether a woman is actually interested in you or not.
How to Know if Women are Falling in Love with You

1. Visual Flirting. If a woman is truly interested in you, she will gaze at you for ages until you look her way; then, she will blush and pretend to look away. You can also tell if a woman is interested from the way she stares at you. If she really likes you, her eyes will smile and all of her attention will be focused on you. If she is only being polite, she may seem bored and will look around a lot.

2. Pinpoint Her Best Assets. Women will preen if they are interested in you. Pay attention to how her hips sway as she walks or how straight she sits when your eyes are on her. If she didn't care about you, she would care less about her overall appearance, as well.

3. Hair Fiddling. Female hair happens to be a strong flirting tool. Women toss their hair in an attempt to attract men and whenever they are interested in someone. If she likes you, her hands will be all over her hair.
So what can you do if she shows all of these signs of attraction? Make things work to your advantage and use several tactics of seduction to nab her for good! Use hypnosis tactics like fractionation to further fan her attraction. Fractionation, when used correctly, is known to be able to make women fall in love in 15 minutes or even less!
But before you use this technique, you must heed this warning...

Fractionation is considered as a 'dark art' tactic which is the basis of hypnosis-based seduction, and while controversial, it is known to be one of the most effective tactics ever invented by underground seductionists. It is described in a step-by-step system in the Deadly Seduction Manuscript (http://www.deadlyseduction.com/).
These psychology tactics are highly unconventional techniques that are used by the secret elite in the seduction community. Use at your own risk. I personally vouch for the effectiveness of these tactics, but care must be taken as they could be outright dangerous in the hands of the unscrupulous.

Let me tell a story to define what love at first sight is exactly. One boy and girl were at a school dance or at a party and they were sitting at opposite sides of the room and all of a sudden there eyes meet one gives a grin and the other grins back, it then takes an hour or so for one of them to work up the courage to walk up to the other and sit down and talk and they realize from the moment that there eyes met in gaze that they new they would be together forever and it was Love at First Sight.

Whether it be because of being depressed, drunk, distracted or just to entwined in our work life. And Love at first sight is something that many of us do no believe in until it happens to us.

Love at first sight is something that many of us do no believe in until it happens to us. At some point, many of us have an experience where we walk into a room, a club, a friends house, wherever and we happen to lock eyes with someone so perfect that we can’t look away. We are immediately filled with anticipation and excitement, and the eye contact continues throughout the night until you finally talk. When you finally do speak, you just seem to click. You like the same things, you finish each others sentences, and you are sure that this is what love at first sight is all about.

The love at first sight sensation is as real as the perfect person sitting in front of you, or so it seems. The way we react in a new relationship of any sort isn’t always natural, so as you get to know one another better things may begin to seem not so perfect. Once you step outside of the overwhelming sensations of getting to know someone new you might realize that this isn’t love at first site, but lust at first sight. And, that’s not always a bad thing! Sometimes, the most intense lust can turn to love, so don’t assume that you should just give up as soon as you realize its not real love at first sight.

Love at first sight is something that many people believe in because they’ve had it happen to them. Others are a bit jaded because those that they thought were their love at first sight happened to be anything but a dream. Either way, it’s a powerful experience to have felt so connected to another individual so quickly that you were able to call it love. Whether it lasts is something that is totally individual and unique to each relationship, but it is possible. So, do you believe?

To nurture relationships you have to take care of them as you would a delicate flower for they are very delicate. If the flowers of your garden are not watered regularly and taken good care they will wither and die one day.

People are careless about their relationships and its only when these break that they start looking for solutions.They should understand that relationships are like flowers and once withered, these cannot be brought back to life.

It is possible to have a friendship with your partner, but the flame of relationship can never be regained. If you spend too much time wondering why relationships end, you might do well to concentrate more on how to keep them going. Once you have been able to reply to this questions there will not be any more occasions for breakups.
A stitch in time saves nine and this holds true for relationships too, It takes a long time to stick together a good relationship and the lucky few who have got true relationships know the value it holds both for them and their partner.

There are some people who just think that offering lots of gift to their girlfriend or having sex with her is what relationship is all about. They are far away from the real answer, because this is not what relationship is all about.

True relationship involves a lot of sacrifice and giving till it hurts,and it is not about money.so why not try getting up a little early on a Sunday and make breakfast for her, clean the kitchen also to make sure she does not have to do it.

How about a surprise dinner for her as an idea? For spending some extra time with her it may be wise to sometimes sacrifice your favorite ball game. Although things may seem easy, once you try to do them, you find out how hard they really. If ladies pampering is genuine and it comes straight from the heart it shows that their love being pampered and more so.
Have you considered altering one of the parts on your own? If she is willing to meet you half way, then you must also meet her half way. There is no secret to keeping a relationship healthy so try this and watch her eyes light up.

On the other hand, some people can do it, and that's a main contributing factor for why relationships break up - even when both people in the relationship known things are going sour - instead of trusting each other, they trust their own ego and hope the other person will change.