Date Mate

Men try to impress too much rather than being impressed by the woman across from them.

One of the top complaints I hear from women about men on a first date is that men talk too much about themselves, they don't listen well and they don't make an effort to get to know the women they are out with. One woman adds, "...and trying to get to know my sexually doesn't count!"


Bottom line: If you truly want to impress a woman on a first date, be impressed by her.

Be curious

Ask your date questions that are both open-ended and specific. Rather than saying "Do you like living here?" which may lead to a conversation dead-end, try "I heard you grew up in the South. How's the lifestyle and culture there different from here?" An open-ended question is more likely to start a dialog and make your date feel like you are interested in learning more about her, which generally increases her interest level.

Just remember: A date isn't a job interview. There's no need to play 20 questions without contributing your own thoughts. After you ask a question and hear her response, join the conversation!

Listen actively

Make eye contact with your date and make sure you are genuinely listening to her, rather than anticipating the next thing you will say. I understand that in some cases, we ladies use a lot of words (on average, double the word count of you guys!) - but we really notice when a man stops listening to what we're saying or looks around the room while we are talking. In fact, many women I've interviewed have complained that men will ask them something they have already spoken about moments before. Turn off!

Be naturally confident

When men are trying too hard to impress - by sharing their resume and earning potential or by ordering food for a woman without asking her what she would like (another complaint from women I've polled) - women deduce that the man they are out with is insecure.

Stay upbeat on a first date and always show your funny side - those are two qualities that rank very high in attracting a woman.

Most of all, be yourself (unless yourself is naturally self-involved!). When you are relaxed, putting your attention on the other person and having fun, you will exude a quiet confidence. And - there's nothing sexier than that.